The thought of the true treasure and mystery of the Gospel, God almighty solemnly dying on a cross for my sin naked and shamed, unknown, all for my eternal salvation and security - the very thought of it makes me see surely how useless and relatively meaningless the things, the riches of this world are. There is no knowledge, no riches, no technology, no zest for life, no contentment, outside of God, that is worthy of comparison to our salvation! The Christian message transcends human-conceived purpose.
When I think of our Lord Jesus on the cross, I think of our brother the apostle Paul, contemplating the revelation of the grace of the God of his ancestors - revealed in such a way he had no way of knowing if it were not for the grace of the Lord that overflowed to him personally to open his eyes (see 1 Timothy 1:12-14), and at the same time the unsearchable, unspeakable riches given to him - of what the Gospel truly is, when he said:
It was always something I have contemplated, to understand what truly lie behind that “woe”, and what drove him. I believe he was not speaking from a fear of punishment, but an eternally deep conviction and wonder! This revelation of grace empowered him and constantly transformed him from glory to glory as he served the Lord as an apostle.
When I think of this and my own life, I become afraid of the weightiness of the glory of the Gospel within me...It is such a treasure, and to share it with others by telling them about it is such an eternally important thing that when you keep it inside you, it can be distressing. As you see and feel the sands of the days of your life go by and you feel this burden seemingly doing harm inside of you, you are not alone, I can tell you that.
When I feel I’ve gone down a path of “wasted” days or I feel I haven’t done enough in light of the unfathomable truth of the reality of the gospel, I can still always cherish my own salvation, and wonder at God’s great grace toward me, other than that, I believe I can do nothing... Holy Spirit, work Your working! It is only because of You that I am saved, and I am a willing, yet afraid and disobedient, servant...is my prayer.
What I mean to say is that, though we may feel that we are squandering the days of our lives in light of eternity and the Gospel or not utilizing them enough, we still need not fear. God’s power, His love, and His grace are sufficient to complete and bring to pass the only mandate I believe His Gospel is worthy of: that every single person on this earth would hear the message of His death for their sins, His resurrection and His lordship and being alive today, in a way they understand, so that they can be able to decide for themselves if they will accept it or not and be saved, before they pass away.
We can become paralyzed by the thought of the thing we hold, and what is at stake (people’s souls), and our either inaction of perceived insufficient action. Even then, God is still able to do it, He is able to rise from the ashes of our inactivity again in full power, by His own power. It is not us, but He within us, that always rises, and that will rise to the occasion.
Our solace, our strength, our miracle that sustains us, is that the Lord Jesus Himself is ever before us alive. He knows how hard it is, and alone knows the full measure of His glory.
It is only through His cross that we are saved, only through His life that He lives today that we are sustained. He Himself is with us - the author and perfecter of our faith. He will make us perfect, we need not be afraid. His love is more than life or failure or regret, and casts out all fear, fear of the weight of eternity upon us.
We are not alone, He is with us, He is before us face to face without a care in the world. We will succeed. We will not fail. His presence is His power, and can surge throughout the whole earth in an instant. He is able to flood the earth with Himself all the while we are still only standing before Him, beholding our belonging in His eyes, unaware that anything else is happening. This is the depth of His power and love.
We will be sustained through the power of His presence, and His love that naturally flows from Him inexhaustibly. His compassion can never end. It can overflow to every single person on this earth. This is His doing, His power, His story, His glory. Let us simply behold His eyes. Let us only behold our Jesus, and become complete. His love is power enough for anything, anytime. He is the protector of all possibility and the creator of our courage.